Critical question to ask yourself (Social pressures are real!)

Mindset Matters Issue #5

Are these your very own thoughts or your thoughts due to Your Social Pressures?

Definition 

According to American Psychological Association, social pressure

is defined as ‘’exertion of influence on a person or group by

another person or group’’.

This is another important pillar of our mindset. Our Social Pressures.

Pressures we face on a daily basis, pressures that strongly influence our thinking, our habits and our actions.

Family

This is the first place shaping our thinking, our personalities. Our families.

The people we grow up with, the loved ones we cannot live without.

Our parents. Who have a certain life and expect us to live a similar life. Well, because it worked out for them, they are happy where they are.

They influence your thinking.

You think you want to live a life like them. But deep down you never really thought about it- what ‘success’ means to you.

Our siblings. They are set in their lives. Or you think so. You want to be like them but again you never really ‘thought’ about what you want.

Friends

You have a group of friends you love dearly. You grew up together or met each other at college or work or anywhere.

These are people you hang out with, spend time on weekends chilling.

Your life is good and laid back. Enjoying the little things. ‘Waiting’ for some magic.

You like the things your friends are doing- studying or working some jobs. You think that’s what you want to. But do you?

Work colleagues

For x reasons you are working. You have some nice people, some mean people at work.

Either way you admire these people because work is serious.

 You feel fortunate to have this job. To have this experience. 

It will help you in xyz ways because that’s what you know from the limited knowledge you have.

You know a job is the final destination to be in once you finish studying.

You are dreaming about big companies you wish to work in because it will reflect well on your CV. 

You are happy with your current experience and grinding like crazy to climb up the corporate ladder.

It will open doors of opportunities for you. That’s what you know.

Does this way of thinking sound familiar to you?

I also thought this way for a long time.

But do you feel a pressure to keep going, to get to success?

Do you feel success is far away, you are still learning work.

Once you work for 20 years you will probably have that success?

Social media influencers

Social pressure is incomplete to talk about without the pressure of our very cherished and celebrated social media influencers- whose Youtube videos and Instagram's stories are what we look forward to , at the end of a long work day.

What they are doing is success, what they are suggesting is right.

This is what you know because you like them.

You are happy to listen and watch them for hours.

This is your relaxation time.

Can you relate?

Example of my life

I was in the same boat as you, until very recently.

My life was influenced and directed by what my family, friends and work colleagues were doing.

I felt a strong pressure to find success the same way my parents, friends who were working found it.

I felt a need to be better at work and spent long hours doing the tasks I thought necessary to grow.

But somehow all those long hours were only making me exhausted.

I felt tired at the end of the day.

I was not looking forward to the next day, but family and commitments kept me going.

At the same time the feeling of ‘empty’ grew stronger in my mind.

It got me thinking, questioning and challenging everything I believed. Everything I knew.

It got me asking myself difficult questions, which took time to answer.

Or maybe I knew the answers but I ignored it for a long time because that's not what ‘success’ meant in the real world.

Conclusion

Social pressures are real. 

Being influenced by your family, friends, colleagues, social media influencers is natural.

But that should not stop you from finding what you TRULY want.

You can want the same things as everyone else in your life or you can want different things.

Either way you should be able to FEEL success in whatever you are doing.

Currently, do you feel fulfilled, energized and absolutely looking forward to tomorrow?

If not, why not?

You already know your answers, it is only a matter of listening to yourself.